apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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