dude i'm inner monologue high
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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