just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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