i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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