Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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