dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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