i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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