I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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