at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize