the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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