Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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