I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize