yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am spending my child support on dildos
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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