I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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