Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize