as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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