if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize
