I'm going to jail i love you
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program