so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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