I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize