I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
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he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
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And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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