Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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