it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
