If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
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