I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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