Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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