I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize