Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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