we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about youâ€
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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