get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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