You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize