Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
