found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize