Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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