last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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