Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
