I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
