So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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