Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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