He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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