Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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