After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
