How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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