At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
