I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.