i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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