Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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