I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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