Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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