Where are you?
In a non slutty way
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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