my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
